The Big Blue Sky: Fifty-six

When Doug awoke just before dawn, in the cheap no-name motel along Route Seven, just outside Rapid River, Molly was in the shower. Doug was still dressed, still wearing his shoes, just as he had when he collapsed upon the bed sometime after two that morning. He had no recollection of Molly getting up, or even getting into bed with him. From the moment is head hit the pillow Doug was out cold. He awoke disoriented, only the soul shattering fatigue and pain burning through his body reminding Doug that all of this hadn’t been some terrible dream.

Doug’s body ached from the night before. The soft mattress felt like a glove, his arms limp beside him, his head in the too-soft pillow and the pillowcase that smelled faintly of bleach and fabric softener. He was content not to move for as long as he dared, knowing that it would awaken a torrent of pain.

He’d managed to convince the elderly Pakistani proprietor that he and Molly were rushing to see an ailing relative and didn’t have a credit card. For an extra fifty bucks cash he rented the room under an assumed name. Set upon a hillside overlooking the northern shores of Lake Michigan the pair dragged their battered and weary bodies inside.

The room was small, filled almost completely by a single queen-sized bed, with two simple pillows and an olive-green fleece blanket. A brown and red floral comforter was folded and laid across the foot of the bed. There was an old box Panasonic television on a small bureau in the corner. The air was stale and laced with the soft damp scent of mildew, and cigarettes that seemed imbued into the thin paneled walls.

The door to the bathroom was partly open, the pale golden light falling upon the brown carpet and across his legs. He could see the mirror on the wall in the bathroom, partly covered in the collected steam from the shower, and reflecting the white cloth shower curtain.

Molly swept the curtain aside and stepped from the shower. Doug could see her smooth pale flesh, be-speckled with shimmering beads of water. She stood there a moment, pulling back her long wet hair, the motion accentuating the curve of her breast. A bluish bruise had grown from he cut to her cheek, extending back towards her dark hair. Noticing the door was open Molly moved to close it, and noticed Doug watching her from the bed. His gaze was tortured, not in a voyeuristic or leering sort of way, but as if he had stumbled into a strange and alluring land. Lost and adrift alone in the world Doug knew he might find a home and refuge in that new land, though for the moment that consideration felt like a betrayal of that lost land. She paused there, holding his eyes with hers and felt suddenly warm with breathless anticipation of him. Doug looked to the window and closed his eyes. Molly wrapped herself in a towel and sat at the corner of the bed beside him.

“I suppose I should get us some breakfast,” he sat up, refusing to look at her.

“How did you know?” she asked quietly. “About last night?”

“I didn’t,” he said. “I was coming to find you, turn myself in.”

“My partner was a good man. He didn’t deserve what they did to him.”

“believe I’m innocent now?”

Doug turned, finding himself close to her, enough that he felt any semblance of self-control collapse completely. His lips fell softly upon hers, drawing in the warm of her breath, and feeling awakened and aroused by it. He lingered there, feeling as though he could lose himself fully in her. Afraid, he stopped and drew away. There was confusion in her eyes. Doug’s heart went out to her. He touched her cheek.

“You are so incredible,” he said. “I just need time.”

“It’s all right.” Molly whispered, holding his palm to her cheek.

“You’re not upset?”

“Do I at least have reason to hope?”

He searched her eyes, or at least pretended to. More than that he was searching his own soul, his heart softly breaking as each moment seemed to erase a little bit more of Jane. He missed her so terribly, and could have thrown himself into Molly’s arms to rescue him from this terrible longing. He could have but that would have been cruel to Molly, and Doug just couldn’t do that, at least not yet, and not now. Life can be long for the lonesome heart, and Doug would make no predictions for the future, only that if it came to it, and the time was right, he hoped it would be Molly waiting there for him.

Doug nodded and pressed his cheek to hers, and says softly, “Yeah.”